Tuesday, June 14, 2011


Day 82: Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I was going to make a pot of curry for dinner as an excuse to tell the girl I like that there would be plenty left over, so she could stop by after her work if she was hungry(because I knew she often skipped dinner since she worked late every night). Also the other day, she mentioned that she wanted to try and take a stab at designing God Only Knows (my photo series about an imaginary animal farm) into a book for the competition that I am applying to next month, so I was hoping that we could discuss that as well. I sent her the text around 8:00, but didn’t hear back from her until 1:00, which by then I had already given up and was in my pajamas about to go to bed. In her message, she said that she was at a bar in our neighborhood with friends and asked if I wanted to come join. Even though I was tired, I wanted to see her so I said okay and then made a cup of strong tea while I waited for her reply about directions. It turned out that one of the judges from the competition that we were applying to was also there hanging out, so now I was twice as nervous.

I skated over while adjusting my penis in my pants because I got dressed in a rush. She met me on her bike. She said she hadn’t slept for more than 30 minutes last night because she didn’t get off work until 7:30 A.M. Today she went home early and was going to rest, but ran into a friend at the local vegetable stand. They ended up drinking in the neighborhood, and eventually the judge, who is a famous photographer in Japan, joined them. The guy turned out to be really nice and friendly. He had also seen My Little Dead Dick before and really liked it. I told him that I was doing a new diary now (T.B.) about Hatagaya- the neighborhood that we were in- and he laughed and said it was probably going to be really boring(man, he had no idea…). He then reminisced about how Takashi Homma, one of the top photographers here in Japan, and him had shared a darkroom in the neighborhood in the 90s, which was the glory years for photography in Japan. Anyone who had won the competition that decade (the same one that I am applying to now) became super famous and a legend. Unfortunately, the competition is rather lame now, but still, if I could win, the prize money would help a lot... The judge and the friend ended up leaving around 3:30. I assumed that the girl would want to go home and sleep as well then, but she didn’t and we stayed for another drink talking about how her work. It sounded hard, but she seemed to enjoy it… Anyways our lives were completely opposite. She worked too much wishing she had time to do her own projects while I was doing the best personal work of my life, but felt like a bum because I didn’t have enough money coming in. I told her that even though we were both struggling in a sense, I think this was our time just like Homma and the judge back in the 90s before they had everything. I bet they look back now at that time in their lives when they actually tried and cared and were passionate… and remembered it as the good old days.

The sun came out and we left the bar at 4:30. She looked cold, so I gave her my jacket (does that mean anything if she accepted it?) and pretended not to be cold myself while I walked her home.


  1. I wonder who's the photographer?


  2. Sometimes I look for old copies of Switch magazine at Book Off hoping to find his pictures. Is he a nice guy?

  3. It's just dawned on me that these posts are not from the night before but week(s) before..it also took me a while to realize that was the case with the pics too. I keep thinking...this girl must be reading TB. But since this is happening 2 weeks ago it's interesting to wonder where this is leading. It's like a little romcom in photo blog form.

    Anyway keep it up...although money wise, time's are tough, your stuff is artfully inspirational and you should definitely enjoy this time of creating in Japan in this specific moment in time. And I'm gonna say the jacket was a good sign.

  4. MC,
    You are the first one to notice the two week time lag... or at least you are the first one to mention it.
    Originally I tried to be as real time as possible with posts, but now that I have to mail my film in bulk to another part of Japan (since it's cheaper), so I now their is the delay... which in a way is nice because there is less pressure.

    When people read the most recent posts and when it's usually about something that bad that happened, my friends will ask me if I am okay... but since it was two weeks ago, that was in the past... so that is kind of weird.

    but when i post something from two weeks ago, i spend the morning editing/designing it... and i get so sucked into it, that i relive the experience and spend the rest of the day in that mood. usually when i write about love, i am love sick and morose all day.

    Every women who I have wrote about, has or was reading this blog (including my mom)... and know everything that I wrote about them. Two nights ago, I was hanging out with the girl from this post, and she mentioned that I had written about her... (I didn't expect she had read it since there was so much English in the post and i thought she was too busy to read it)... and at first, I immediately denied it... then she stated what i wrote word for word... and i didn't know how to answer so i changed the subject...

    another interesting thing is, if u write about a girl u like, and they read it... if they liked or didn't like u back, would they mention that they had seen it?

    about the jacket, it could mean they don't think u are gross and stinky (which i guess is a good sign).


  5. how much does it cost to develop your film in bulk/scan etc?

    it's interesting the way you are shooting lately, almost like a motion picture camera, which is fitting for you (i know you had a background in film) and me as well...

    i ran across this the other day:


    it's this kinda techy douchy photog who championed the 5dmk2 when it came out... well anyhow, he's championing the new Red Epic cameras as the future of photography...ie shooting 96fps HD raw files and just "picking" the still image you want vs anticipating the "decisive moment."

    on the other hand, there is new technology being worked on:


    that promises in the future, you don't even have to bother focusing on...

    anyhow, hope all is well. i'm in taipei now.