Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Day 108: Sunday, June 26, 2011

I saw her today. We planned our meeting a few days back because I wanted to ask her if she would design a T.B. zine for Japanese people. Well today when Ian, Yuki, and I were shopping for Willy’s collar in our neighborhood shotengai (shopping arcade), she texted me and asked if I had eaten yet. It was earlier than I expected, so I became a bit flustered and nervous because I wasn’t mentally prepared… This would be the first time I would see her since we finished God Only Knows, which was also the night that she told me she had a boyfriend… as well as after I hit rock bottom a week later… but supposedly I was okay again now I thought. So I said goodbye to Ian and Yuki and walked to her house, but stopped first at a convenience store on the way to see if I looked alright.

I texted her when I was outside her place and she opened her window from the second floor and said hello while I took her picture, which had become our tradition. As she got ready to leave, I saw four stray cats and took their picture while I waited outside. One was named Mimi (a neighborhood lady walked by and told me then), and while the other cats kept their distance, Mimi let me pet her since she wanted some love and affection just as much as me.

We went to a Korean restaurant for dinner. The girl told me that she had just came back from her cousin’s wedding at Disneyland and got a bouquet. She didn’t actually catch it, but the person who did gave it to her. Anyways she told me that she hated Disney, which was rare for a girl in Japan, and because of that made me respect her more.

At the restaurant, it was a bit awkward sometimes so we just stared at the T.V. I knew she had been reading Talking Barnacles and all the posts were recently about her and me being lovesick. I planned before that I would get it out in the open and apologize for hitting on her and writing about her but was just waiting for the right time. While I was trying to make small talk- mentioning how I had joined a gym last week- I spilled my mug of beer all over myself, which was embarrassing and didn’t help matters.

Later we went to a grocery store and she bought a green apple and avocado, and then we dropped if off at her place before we headed over to mine, and that’s when I said it… to clear the air… and maybe it did because some time later we both began to loosen up again.

At my house we talked about business while her cat allergies acted up. Around 11:30, I walked her home because she looked tired. When we got close to her place (a few houses away), I said goodnight to show her that I was true to my word, but she told me to hold on and that she wanted to show me something. She ran up to her place and while I waited outside, two cops rode by on bikes and looked at me suspiciously. When they were gone, she opened her window and showed me her bouquet of white flowers. She tossed it to me and it kind of broke apart when I caught it.
After I threw it back up, and she told me to keep the ones that were still lying on the ground, so I carried them home.

While walking back I texted my best friend Yosuke and told him that even though I still liked her, it didn’t hurt anymore.


  1. I thought of the kid catching the ball in:
    when I read this. Possible connection?

  2. Hi Pat Pat. I just want to say that I check your blog everyday. Your honesty is really compelling. I feel like I've stumbled upon the forgotten diary of someone who died a long time ago when I read your blog. But at the same time, I feel like I'm reading about myself in a parallel universe. What does it mean? I don't know. But I love it. xx

  3. Hello Nohope,
    "I feel like I'm reading about myself in a parallel universe."
    That's really nice to hear because that is my ultimate goal with this piece... I don't want TB just to be self-satisfying and self-obsessed/involved... which I worry about a lot...
    When I began this diary, I tried to be as general as possible to reach the most people, but later as the blog progressed, I had to go inwards into my mind (since there was no outside dilemma anymore like the quake) ... and I think more people could relate because everyone has gone through similar things or thought the same things at one time or another.
    so basically the more specific u go, the more general and far reaching it becoems... it's quite an interesting concept. i guess.
    anyways your comment made my day after I got home just now after the gym. thanks so much!

  4. it would be pretty great if you slowly made TB a fictional thing. like it gradually shifts from being about your life to being completely made up but still appearing to be about your life. maybe that's not really the purpose of TB, but it would be fun.

    also, I just read Lost in the Cosmos by Walker Percy and it seemed like something you would enjoy at the moment (I guess that's how personal this blog is that I feel like I can recommend you books)

  5. I think you are the second person to mention the fiction route this week as well as the second person to recommend me a book since i started TB. haha. thank u. i will look the book.

    i like hearing about people, what they like, what's going on in their lives... i guess since i share so much, people want to give something back in return which is nice.